A sparring partner, that’s what Claude is for me. You know, it’s exactly what you were to me: I could talk to you without thinking it through - not too much, at least - and you helped me make order, sort me out.

A person close to me told me this today. There was no sadness nor doubt in their voice, just the slight, unnecessary, but very human embarrassment that comes with admitting one’s limits. It didn’t matter after all, because technology had provided a worthy substitute, something that would free me from this therapeutic endeavor, and free them from the uneasiness of asking my time and attention. Are we witnessing progress?

I didn’t always enjoy this task, I won’t lie. I do have some capacity to sift through rambling and distill arguments, but I don’t always have the discipline to use it. What I did like about this was, unsurprisingly, the validation that came with it, the feeling that I do matter for someone else, and how it strengthened our relationship. In practice, I often welcomed the interruptions that it brought. Yet all this recent talking about AI-induced cognitive decline is probably still echoing in my head, because I am now wondering: isn’t it actually something I should do? Exercise, nurture, protect, cherish? After all, reality is as messy as humans, so being able to translate someone’s chaotic thoughts is probably a good proxy of the capacity to understand things at large. Even more, beyond the intellectual effort lies the emotional labor: it takes courage to ask for help, and temperance to set aside your goals and provide it. Isn’t that also worthy of pursuit? Maybe my friend was also giving me back something, while I helped them. Isn’t a sparring partner, by definition, sparring themselves?

There’s nothing special in this story. It is another instance of a broader phenomenon, as old as civilization - technology removes friction, increases productivity, yet reduces interdependency and thus weakens human bonds. Still, I find it noticeable, because for knowledge workers - like me, like my friend - the risk of isolation looms large nowadays. Researchers worry too.

Is the time stolen from chores and deadlines to sit into someone else’s mind, be it messy or pristine, lost or gained?